We’re making it personal today. I (Susannah of Gander & Co.) am going to walk you through my thank you note writing philosophy.

About six months ago, I realized that my soon-to-be husband — an adult man — didn’t really know how to write a proper thank you note. We had started receiving wedding gifts and needed to show our friends and family just how grateful we were for their thoughtful presents. But, since we live far away from most of our nearest and dearest, our thanks needed to be conveyed using methods other than person-to-person hugs. More than ever before, our thank you notes needed to convey appreciation, warmth, and love. But how to do it?

At the risk of embarrassing him too much, my husband’s thank you note from all those months ago — the one that inspired this guide — went something like this: “Thank you so much for the gift. We really like it. Once again, thank you.” He had all the right feeling; he just lacked specificity.

It’s easy to understand why this art form has been lost. We have been conditioned to communicate efficiently via text and messaging apps, and we tend to send emojis or memes to express emotions rather than explain them in words. But I promise, there will come a time when a cat with heart eyes just won’t cut it — especially if you’re communicating with someone who didn’t grow up in the digital age. So, let’s get you ready for when that time comes!

First things first, be thank-full. (This is the part my husband had no problem with.). You want to come in strong and lead with a big “Thank you so much.” But you also need to be specific. If your thank you note could be given to any of the guests that sent you gifts, it’s not specific enough. Just remember, the giver spent time selecting a gift for you — even if it was a gift from a registry of your design — the least you can do is take a couple of minutes to show them how much you care.

After your strong and enthusiastic opening, it’s always a good idea to include a sentence or two about why you wanted the gift in the first place and what you intend to do with it (Pro Tip: this is especially helpful when someone gifts you money or a gift card!).

The fourth sentence of your note should not be about the gift at all; it should be about the gift-givers. If the gift is tied to an event (e.g. a wedding, birthday, or housewarming), it’s nice to say how much you enjoyed spending time with them (the givers), or — if the gift arrives in advance of the event — how much you look forward to sharing the special day with them.

After that, it’s common practice to thank them once again for the gift and sign off. But how you sign off is just as important as the rest of the note. I’ve gotten to the end of lovely notes that read “–Name.” For me, this is like telling someone you haven’t seen in years how happy you are to see them and then offering them a cold handshake rather than a hug. It can leave a bad taste in the recipient’s mouth.

If you feel comfortable signing “Love,” I say go for it. However, if you’re looking for a catch-all that works just as well for your grandma as it does for your partner’s co-worker’s girlfriend, try “Sincerely.” It’s meaningful, classic, and won’t offend anyone.

Want to level up your thank you notes? Here are some of my favorite additions:
+ Ditch the boring stamps, and pick something with charm.
+ Get fancy and creative with the addressing.
+ Order a chic return address stamp from Etsy.
+ Snap a pic of you with the gift and include it in your note!

Do you have a favorite thank you note method? Let us know in the comments!